How to make a decision when you don't know what to do

Thinking back on the most pivotal moments in my life makes me realize how profoundly different the outcomes were when I paused to really consider the decisions in front of me. Hard won wisdom has reinforced that a gut instinct (which can be helpful, and ought to be factored into any decision-making process) is decisively not the same thing as wish fulfillment (which, if rashly followed, often leads to negative outcomes).

So often we go through life oblivious to the feelings, thoughts, emotions, and sensations that are driving our actions.

Clearly, for big decisions, this oversight can have significant effects, but it is also true for seemingly small ones. During the day, we make hundreds of decisions—from when to get out of bed, to what to eat, how to organize our time or engage with others, and what behavior is right and wrong.

The truth is that all these decisions shape our reality, identity, and story.

Making the best, most meaningful, constructive, and ethical decisions—because, yes, following your system of “right and wrong” matters—requires a mindful approach, one that

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